Potter Chat
by dreamqueen1
Summary: what would happen if all the Harry Potter characters learned how to IM? & what would 1 of their conversations sound like? find out only here at BTW, NOT A REAL WEBSITE rated T because i rate everything T. :


OK, so I am going to give you a list of everyone's user names and the people they go with. All I can say is that this is going to be interesting. This happens the summer between the golden trio's fifth and sixth years. Sirius is not dead.

Harry Potter-quidditchseeker273

Ron Weasley-gryffindorpower869

Hermione Granger-bookworm2

Ginny Weasley-seekerluver63

George Weasley-Forge

Fred Wealey-Gred

Draco Malfoy-badboy911;)

Bellatrix LeStrange-the DarkLordwillruletheworld!

Voldemort-IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!

Severus Snape-potionsmaster659

Albus Dumbledore-ilovelemondrops

Remus Lupin-Moony123

Sirius Black-marauders4ever_padfoot

_Currently online:_

_qudditchseeker273_

_gryffindorpower869_

_bookworm2_

_seekerluver63_

_Currently offline:_

_Forge_

_Gred_

_badboy911;)_

_theDarkLordwillruletheworld!_

_IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!_

_potionsmaster659_

_ilovelemondrops_

_Moony123_

_marauders4ever_padfoot_

quidditchseeker273: hey guys. Wut's up?

bookworm2: hey harry! I'm gr8! France is awesum!

quidditchseeker273: tht's gr8 Hermione!

gryffindorpower869: yeah, u got lucky. U get 2 go 2 France while I'm stuck here with Fred & George & the monkey dancing on the table.

seekerluver63: oh, u mean ur dancing on the table? How r u able 2 do tht & IM the same time?

gryffindorpower869: hahaha very funny Ginny. I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about a literal monkey dancing on the table.

quidditchseeker273: how did tht happen Ron?

gryffindorpower869: I'm in the flat above the twins' joke shop. Fred & George r here. How do u think?

quidditchseeker273: ur rite. Nuff said.

bookworm2: yes well…tht's…gr8, Ron. So, how's ur summer going, Ginny?

seekerluver63: pretty good actually. I'm the burrow, & none of my annoying brothers r home. Well, Bill's here, but he's not annoying. :)

_~Forge has come online~_

_~Gred has come online~_

Forge: oh Ginny! Y must u hurt us like tht!

Gred: yeah Ginny, cut us 2 the quick, u did! How can u possibly even hint….

Forge: tht there's even a possibility…

Gred: tht u could ever think us annoying….

Forge: when we're so obviously the most awesum guys ever!

bookworm2: how can they still finish each other's sentences on IM?

Gred: well, our darling little know-it-all, if u must know….

Forge: we happen 2 b sitting rite beside each other in the shop's back room….

Gred: & we put the closed sign on the door.

gryffindorpower869: hold on guys. The monkey's got sumthin in its hands & I need 2 keep it from breaking anything. Brb.

_~marauders4ever_padfoot has come online~_

_~Moony123 has come online~_

marauders4ever_padfoot: I c u decided 2 try out my idea about the dancing monkey, boys.

Gred: of course!

Forge: best idea we had heard in a while.

quidditchseeker273: Sirius…U gave them tht idea? I know I probably should b surprised…yet somehow I'm not.

gryffindorpower869: weird…the monkey threw sum weird powder on me.

Gred: …wait 4 it…

Forge: …wait 4 it…

Gred: ok now!

gryffindorpower869: ooh…. *falls out of chair* the ceiling's a pretty purple color…. Lol. Purple's a funny word.

Moony123: I c u decided 2 test out my idea.

bookworm2: Remus…U CAME UP W/ THIS IDEA! *looks shocked*

Moony123: …I feel compelled 2 say no.

Forge: don't b ridiculous professor…

Gred: yes, professor…take credit where credit is due. Defense against the dark arts isn't ur only field of expertise as a teacher.

marauders4ever_padfoot: 2 things: 1, this doesn't surprise me all. Moony always was the one 2 come up w/ our more…_creative_…ideas 4 pranks. Second, Fred, George…I THOUGHT U SAID MY IDEA WAS THE BEST U HAD HEARD IN A WHILE!

Forge: it was…

Gred: best idea 4 a distraction so tht ickle Ronniekins doesn't c the real prank coming…which was Remus's idea.

seekerluver63: I know Sirius & Remus were pranksters during skool, but this is a bit weird seeing them in action. It kinda scares me a bit. *shudders*

marauders4ever_padfoot: no reason 2 b scared, luv. We're very well trained…we only attack guys & slytherins. :)

gryffindorpower869: ooh…shiny. *reaches towards shiny object*

quidditchseeker273: I don't even want 2 know what he's talking about.

seekerluver63: as much as I love seeing Ron make a complete fool of himself, just how long will this last?

Gred: it depends on the victim's IQ…

Forge: the higher the IQ, the longer it lasts….

Gred: 4 example, when we tested it on Crabbe & Goyle…

Forge: it only lasted 3 minutes…

Gred: but it could last on Ron 4 an hour or so….

Forge: maybe only 30 minutes…

Gred: but that's the shortest it could possibly last.

_~badboy9111;) has come online~_

badboy911;): I c u've found a way 2 make the weasel even dumber. Well done. I didn't even know it was possible.

gryffindorpower869: omg! There's a ferret IM-ing on the computer. AAAAAAHHHH! *faints*

badboy911;): my point proven.

bookworm2: no, he's rite about the ferret on chat.

badboy911;): shut up mudblood, by the way nice screen name. Suits u perfectly.

bookworm2: well I think ur screen name is nothing like u.

quidditchseeker273: WHAT!

badboy911;): …u don't?

bookworm2: nope. I think it should have been "I beat up 1st years & get black eyes from muggle-borns because I go around calling them mudbloods all the time". How's THAT 4 a screen name?

badboy911;): terrible. B careful, Granger. U get much angrier & u'll turn us all 2 soot w/ ur heated frustration. Lol. Soot's a funny word.

bookworm2: u know what else is a funny word?

badboy911;): what?

bookworm2: I h8 u.

badboy911;): ….that was low.

_~IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER! has come online~_

_~theDarkLordwillruletheworld! has come online~_

IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!: HARRY POTTER I WILL KILL YOU!

quidditchseeker273: so Ginny have u had any time 2 practice quidditch l8ly?

IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!: *twitches* HELLO! Dark wizard in the chat room!

seekerluver63: actually I have. Maybe when u come over we can c who's the better seeker?

quidditchseeker273: ur on.

theDarkLordwillruletheworld!: HEY! THE GR8EST DARK WIZARD OF ALL TIME IS TRYING 2 GIVE OUT A DEATH THREAT HERE! WHAT R U FREAKS BLIND OR SOMETHING! HOW DARE U IGNORE A THREAT MADE BY THE DARK LORD!

quidditchseeker273: Hmm? Oh, I didn't notice. I thought he was just typing his screen name or sumthing. Besides, that's old news. I'm used 2 that threat from him by now.

gryffindorpower869: *plays with bellatrix's hair* ooh pretty!

theDarkLordwillruletheworld!: *pushes him away* FREAK! Hey what was that noise down stairs? *goes investigate* *comes back holding time bomb* What the hell is this? & y is it counting backwards? *bomb hits 0* uh-oh. *Blows up*

marauders4ever_padfoot: serves her rite.

theDarkLordwillruletheworld!: EXCUSE ME!

marauders4ever_padfoot: I mean…luv ya, my oh so charming insane cousin! *smirks*

_~ilovelemondrops has come online~_

ilovelemondrops: hello everyone!

IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!: oh hello dumbledore. As I was saying, HARRY POTTER I WILL KILL YOU & THERE IS NOTHING U CAN DO 2 STOP ME BECAUSE I AM LORD VOLDEMORT! & IF U PRANK CALL ME 1 MORE TIME SO HELP ME I WILL CONTACT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC & U WILL GO AZKABAN & THE DEMENTORS WILL SUCK OUT EVERY LAST BIT OF UR HAPPINESS & I WILL KILL U! I SHALL CUT UR HEART OUT W/ A SPOON B-CUZ THT WOULD B SO MUCH MORE PAINFUL THAN IF I DID IT W/ A SHARP OBJECT! MWAHAHAHA!

quidditchseeker273: yeesh…no 1 ever said tht was me… I'm not even sure what ur talking about.

IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!: U DO 2 KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT U LITTLE TWIT! *eye twitches violently*

quidditchseeker273: lol! maybe I should write a book….idiots guide 2 making ur Dark Lord twitch…hahaha. Now there's a thought…

ilovelemondrops: wait a second….Voldemort? oh hello there! I was wondering who's screen name would b IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER! I was wondering if u would like 2 join me 4 tea 2morrow afternoon…I have been just dying 2 show u the power of the magic of luv…

quidditchseeker273: BTW voldemort u already murdered my happiness…when u brutally MURDERED MY PARENTS!

IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER!: Albus? OMG! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *faints*

_~IWILLKILLHARRYPOTTER! has gone offline~_

bookworm2: excellent job professor dumbledore! U scared him away!

theDarklLordwillruletheworld!: master? Hey wait 4 me!

_~theDarkLordwillruletheworld! has gone offline~_

_~potionsmaster659 has come online~_

ilovelemondrops: do u think he'll come 2 tea 2morrow?

potionsmaster659: I highly doubt it sir…children, have u completed the potions essays I assigned 4 over the summer?

bookworm2: of course professor snape.

potionsmaster659: not u, u insufferable know-it-all. U already turned in urs. _Very_ fitting screen name by the way.

badboy911;): TOLD YA!

bookworm2: *points wand Malfoy so she can hex him in2 oblivion*

badboy911;): YIKES! NOT THE FACE!

_~badboy911;) has gone offline~_

potionsmaster659: what about u Mr. Potter?

quidditchseeker273: ummm…..i feel compelled 2 say yes.

gryffindorpower869: I HAVEN'T & NEVER WILL B-CUZ I'M HARRY POTTER'S BEST FRIEND & I'M TOTALLY AWESUM & SKOOL IS 4 LOSERS! Ooh…pretty butterfly. *chases imaginary butterfly*

potionsmaster659: EXCUSE ME!

ilovelemondrops: oh Severus, let them have their flap-doodle. Back 2 ur skulking.

_~potionsmaster659 has gone offline~_

Moony123: G2G, Dora needs me 4 something. Ttyl.

_~Moony123 has gone offline~_

marauders4ever_padfoot: I g2g 2, Kreacher found his way in2 my room again…l8r.

_~marauders4ever_padfoot has gone offline~_

_~ilovelemondrops has gone offline~_

seekerluver63: well I have 2 go 2, mum's begging me 2 help her fix supper. C ya.

_~seekerluver63 has gone offline~_

bookworm2: I have 2 leave now…my parents & I r going 2 this lovely little French restaurant… but I'm going 2 avoid trying the snails…yuck. Bye!

_~bookworm2 has gone offline~_

gryffindorpower869: whoa….what happened?

Gred: BYE!

Forge: Peace out!

_~Gred has gone offline~_

_~Forge has gone offline~_

gryffindorpower869: what was tht all about? & where did tht monkey go?

quidditchseeker273: reread everything…it should explain a lot. I gotta go. L8r.

_~quidditchseeker273 has gone offline~_

_~after gryffindorpower869 reviewed entire conversation~_

gryffindorpower869: OMG THOSE PRATTY LITTLE GITS! I AM SOOO GOING 2 KILL THEM! Wait…who am I talking 2? Weird…

_~gryffindorpower869 has gone offline~_


End file.
